I wish i could hate you
by JenjiRose
Summary: Evil Godric and Eric story, one shot


I ran through the castle, the cobble stone flooring and my high heeled sandals making it a difficult task. I hear their chuckles getting closer and closer. My sister lay bloody and dismembered in front of her doorway. I whimpered and pushed faster, though they were quicker. I collided with a tall man's chest; I fell back landing on my butt. My mother's body, my father's heart being ripped out of his chest, my sister being torn apart in front of me, my puppy being thrown into the fire pit, screams sounded in my head the images pulsing faster than my veins. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "What shall we do with her master" I cringed "I will decide soon do not kill her just yet." My eyes opened and a short dark haired man was kneeling beside me, he wore his demon teeth with a cruel smile.

The demon man touched my face and I refused to cringe the way I wanted to "Look who's being brave" I slapped his hand away, and he stared at me shocked for a moment, before chuckling. "I like her, I think I will keep her" I didn't look into his eyes, I had heard whispers of what the demon men could do with their eyes. "Are you not afraid of me girl" I kept quiet; they would earn not one sound out of my mouth. "Answer me" I looked down, the man grabbed me by my hair and threw me into the wall hard, I heard the sick snap of bone, but I willed my lips closed.

He let me fall to the cobble stone floor; I lay on the uneven ridged stone. "She is strong, but I am up for the challenge" A foot pressed against my calf, "Answer me girl are you afraid of me" I closed my eyes and kept my lips in a tight line, my jaw clenched waiting for the pain. It was worse because I did not expect it, my calf was broken, I almost whimpered, remember Laina, I used my mother's tone in my mind; they will kill you if you cry if you fight. They would probably kill me anyway, but my chances were better if I stayed silent. I opened my eyes and looked at my sister's head that was directly across from me.

Next it was my other calf, and then my thighs; they broke my arms in three places on each side, and then my hands, my feet, my fingers, each and every one of my ribs, "Don't touch her face" The short one commanded the tall one who was about to break my nose. They both raised a hand to my hips, and pushed with shattering force, I didn't scream, I fell asleep.

I woke dizzy and disoriented, I looked down at my body, I was healed there was nothing wrong with me, a little sore perhaps, it must have been a nightmare. I got up from my bed, and walked down the corridor to tell my sister of my fright. I gasped when I saw her body on the floor as it had been in my nightmare. I ran over to her, and held her remains in my hands, the blood was dry. "Vasee" I used her play name. "Mother" I whispered and ran through through the castle again to the main room. The two men were sitting at my table, staring at me evil grins on their evil faces. I ran to my mother. And knelt beside her "Mother, mother please" the tears were falling down my face freely now.

I ran to my father "Father" I laid my hand over his missing heart. I have never felt such hatred in my life such pain. My puppy lay in the now burnt out fire, he was barely breathing. I pulled out my blade and ended his pain; I knew that that is what I wished someone would do for me. I stared at the blade for a brief moment, what I had to lose was nothing but I had everything to gain in the afterlife, but I would lose it if I took my own life God strictly forbidden one to hurt thyself. I set the blade down and wiped my eyes, I looked out the balcony I stood up and walked to it. The stars were so pretty, each star was the soul of a lost life, I wondered idly which stars were watching over me. I decided my mother was the biggest star the brightest, the one north in the sky.

I took deep breaths they turned into shallow breaths. The tears threatened to spill again, I opened my eyes wide to keep the moisture out, and it worked. "Come here girl" I stared straight ahead, gripping the stone edging. I heard an audible sigh; someone put their hands on my hips very gently. I swallowed and felt breath down my neck. "Face me" I refused, so he turned me around still gentle. He was a half a head taller than me, but so much shorter than the tall demon man. He bent his lips to mine, I pulled back but his lips were on mine, his hand at the back of my neck kept me still, I did not respond. His tongue opened my lips, and I fought his tongue with mine, in the true sense of the word, I wanted revenge, I would not be given it.

The demon man pushed my back to the cobble stone wall. He ripped my under garments off, and pushed my dress up. I clenched my jaw as his cock thrust into me, it was a practice as old as time, but it was new to me, and it hurt but pain was nothing new these past two days.

I did not climax, but he did twice. When he pulled out of me I felt like vomiting but I had not eaten anything for what seemed like a long time. He let me drop to the floor, before walking back inside. I no longer cared whether God accepted me or not, I stood up very sore and looked over the balcony, three towers tall, I would die and no demon could bring me back with their black magic ways. I took a deep breath and jumped over the side of the balcony. I was flying, soaring through the sky; I smiled as I neared the ground, I laughed and looked up where the two demon men were staring at me, anger on their faces I laughed again. Tears of joy fell down my face, the flight was near the end, and so was my pain.

The short man was falling too, but he was falling faster than I had, I groaned as he caught up with me, but my back connected with the grassy ground before he could grab my hand. I stared at the stars, white and blue stars, and red stars big fat juicy red stars filled my vision until red was all I saw. I closed my eyes and drifted away.

When I woke up I was on my bed again, this was not happening. I stared at myself, I was clean and my dress was changed, not a speck of dirt or blood on me, I screamed loud and guttural, it reverberated through the whole castle. My throat was sore, my breathing was erratic and the tears were hot down my face. I was dead, no I was dead, I had to be, I checked my pulse, it was quickened and pained but it was there. I hit the stone wall as hard as I could with my fists again and again, until they were bloody and raw, I slammed my head into the wall, again and again, blood dripped down my face from a seeping wound on my forehead. I stared in the mirror, and slammed my head into it. Pieces broke off and I took the sharpest looking on, I stabbed it into my wrists and drug long and painful blood gushed, finally I thought as I got weaker.

The demon man's face was in my room, he shook his head and walked up to me, his bit into his wrist and put it against my lips, and I clamped my teeth shut. The demon man growled and forced my mouth open, the blood oozed down my throat, and I watched as the wounds on my wrists healed, the shards of glass popping out of my arm. The demon man pulled his arm away and looked at my strangely, I spoke my first words to him "I hate you" those words had such feeling in them I could have cried. The demon man chuckled "I have been waiting for this for a long time" I couldn't help it I got on my knees in front of him "Please kill me" I clasped my hands together.

The demon man kicked me in the face, "Don't grovel, pitiful does not suit you" my nose was broken and my lip was split. I was finally getting somewhere, maybe if I begged he would kill me, I knelt again "Please, I beg of you please" he picked me up and threw me against the wall, that whole side of my body was shattered, the bone was crumbled, I knelt again "Please kill me" He growled and picked me up and threw me to the other wall, the other side of my body shattering. I should have passed out by now. "Please" I whispered and he kicked me hard in the side of the head, my neck cracked with the force of the blow. My head was throbbing and couldn't move or feel anything below my collarbone. "Please" I breathed, another kick, this one harder, my neck snapped.

To my dismay I woke up yet again, but I couldn't move, it was too painful. So I simply stared at the ceiling, breathing softly until I heard footsteps down the corridor. I heard a crunching sound and something pressed against my lips I swallowed the blood wanting this pain to stop, I got an idea I sucked harder, the demon man tried to pull his arm away but I grabbed his wrist and sucked with everything I had, the demon man unsuccessfully tried to shake me off, so he grabbed my face and sunk his fangs into my neck. I gasped and let go, the demon man did not, and he kept drinking until I fell back on the bed weak yet again. "Ignorant whore" he spit bloody spit on my dress and walked off.

I lay on the bed thinking of my family, my life and God's plan for me, I wondered if God had a cruel sense of humor or if this was meant to be. I heard voices down the corridor "Are you going to turn her Godric" turn me into what "I do not know, perhaps perhaps not, leave me with her" The short demon man walked into my room and stared at me before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Do you hate me girl" I scoffed and smiled to myself "Perhaps perhaps not" I cosplayed his voice, he chuckled, "Truthfully or I hurt you again" I sighed "No, I hate what you have done, but I could not bring myself to hate another being, no matter what kind of being you are" He looked at me curiously and I swallowed in pain. He climbed up to me and bit into his wrist; I swallowed the blood and sat up after he pulled away. I sniffled and felt like crying all over again. "Could you ever love me" I glanced at him "If you stopped hurting me, I promise I would try, if that is what you want" He touched my face, "I am not sure what I want of you, I very much like you, you have a beautiful spirit, your will to end me is far greater than any other human I have ever known, but I killed my maker because he destroyed me and everything I loved, I couldn't bring you into this life having to watch my back every time you were behind me."

I nodded "I suppose I would never forget my family or what you have done to me, but I do not wish for you to die, I simply want to stop feeling pain every time you touch me" The demon man touched my arm gently as if showing me that he did not have to harm me. I swallowed and glanced at the mirror, a tear fell down my face, how much I missed my family, my sister, my mother even my drunken father. He wiped the tear from my face "I could glamour you to forget the pain you feel" I shook my head "I do not wish to forget the pain, for without it I would not know the true extent of my love for them" The demon man put an arm around me, "Are you hungry girl" I sniffled "It is Laina, what is your name demon boy" He smirked "I am Godric and the other one is Eric" I grinned "You mean the oafish buffoon" He chuckled "I would not be so cruel about his…disorder to his face, his is quite vicious" I nodded and smiled slightly "Yes I am very hungry and very tired."

Godric stood up and held his hand out for me; I took it and stood up "It is strange, I do not usually like women, because they do not usually appeal to me sexually" I clenched my jaw "But you had your way with me" my breathing becoming erratic, he shushed me, his slightly long hair in his eyes, I stepped away when I saw an evil glint in his eyes, he stepped closer to me "I find myself wanting to have my way with frequently, is that a problem Paulo Angelus" I did not know what he was calling me but it sounded Latin, a language my father once spoke. I shook my head "No" He grinned and put his hands on my hips pulling me closer to him, "Laina what" I raised an eyebrow "Laina Rushbrook" he brushed my hair behind my ears "Take a bath, dress yourself, and I will have food waiting when you are done, Laina" He whispered my name and breathed a sigh, "Go on" He left my bedchamber and closed the wooden door on the way out, I drew myself a bath and gathered my bath soaps and started my bath.

I stared at myself in the mirror as I tied the back of the corset as tight as I could. The dress was one of my best dresses, it was silky and white with light pink lace around the edges, it was long sleeved though the sleeves were thin white lace with flower designs and it had a v neck and showed my large breasts they led down to a hourglass waist and then the dress fluffed out slightly down to to graze the floor, I pulled on a pair of white high heeled sandals. My long dark brown curls framed my pale face and were falling freely down my back, my eyes were the loveliest shade of blue with emerald green sparkles hidden within, my lips were pouty and pink and my chin came to a slight point. I had dimples when I smiled and straight teeth. I was all in all beautiful; I sprayed a little body scent and rubbed hand softener on my hands, before walking out my bedchamber, past my sister's rotting body and down the stairwell. Godric and the buffoon Eric were waiting for me, I did not smile but I did nod my head to them.

I tried to ignore my mother and father's bodies, and the smell of them and I walked up to the demon men "The food is there" Godric pointed to the kitchen, I nodded and clenched my jaw walking into the kitchen. The plate had chicken and potatoes and strawberries with wine and bread. I took a drink of the wine and pulled apart the chicken eating as a quickly as I could without being a savage. I then ate the strawberries and the bread. I did eat some potatoes but I did not usually like them so I ate few. I felt a hand on my back and I swallowed, I turned and faced Godric. "Are you satisfied" I nodded and he smirked grabbing my face and forcing me to look at him, I was taller than him when I was wearing my high heeled sandals, but I knew he was much more powerful than I could ever be.

"Tell me what I will be taking from you if I kill you, the chance to be a mother, a wife" I clenched my jaw "I do not like children and I will never belong to a single man I much to pretty for that" He smirked and flipped my hair behind my shoulder, "Come make conversation with my child and I" I rolled my eyes "I am tired I do not wish to make talk" He raised an eyebrow "Please Godric, let me sleep, I will talk to you tomorrow night" He growled "You will make _conversation _tonight, and then I will allow you to sleep and only then" I nodded "Yes Godric" He petted my hair "Good girl Laina" He said it as if I was his pet. Godric took me by the hand and walked to the seating room and I sat across from the tall one "Good evening buffoon" He raised an eyebrow and without warning laughed "I like her, she is so bizarre and quiet the eye full" I rolled my eyes again "So I am told, I have made your petty conversation may I go to my chamber now" Godric raised his hand to slap me but he sat down beside me "Bend over" I was astonished "Pardon me" He pulled me down gently as if it was a great strain to not beat me senseless, I was now bent over his knee. "You will not disobey your master" I swallowed and he pushed my dress up and slapped my butt again and again, I couldn't help the tears that fell, this hurt worse than any other punishment, because that is what my father used to do to me.

Godric rested his hand on my back rubbing it until I stopped sobbing. I started to sit up but he turned me around pulled me body to his chest. I looked away and he cradled me like a small child. "Eric leave us do not leave the premises" a whoosh of air and he was gone. I looked up at Godric and he rubbing my face "You are beautiful Laina, I wish to know your complete name" I swallowed "Alaina, but I do not prefer Alaina" Godric nodded "Laina then, tell me Laina, could you be a companion of death, could you walk through the world with me, through the dark. I will teach you all I know, I will be your father, your brother, your lover, your child" I sniffled and clenched my jaw "I do not wish to be a demon woman, to hurt the innocent as you have hurt me, I wish to love, and to care for the innocent" Godric sighed "You will soon learn Laina, there is no love or hate, only survival and death" I leaned my head on his shoulder.

Godric looked down at me "I can give you what you want most" I nodded "what" He grinned "Life, endless, timeless beauty, pretty things and handsome men at your beck and call" I mulled this over "I don't want it, I want to be human, to have an afterlife to which yours has been stolen from you and your buffoon" He groaned and threw me off of him, "Then you shall die and not come back, I have no use for a pet" I closed my eyes and felt relief surge through me, the pain was ending very soon. "Thank you" He grabbed my face "For what" I smiled lightly "For me giving me the only thing you can now; death, and how truly beautiful death is, heaven is waiting for me, I will meet my maker tonight, and he will bring me home to my family" Godric growled "Open your eyes" I opened them slowly and smiled "You will remember me Godric, for I will be the only human wishing for death at your hands, and when your humanity finds you, you will look back at what you have done to me and will do to me, with shame in your childlike features, I truly do hope you find your humanity, for you are nothing but a demon without it."

He stared at me with an unfathomable expression "What are you" I smiled "A girl whose innocence you have stolen, a girl who you have done everything possible to, a girl who will never will never look upon you with eyes of hate no matter your crime" his fangs flashed down "Run" I raised an eyebrow "Pardon me" He snarled "Run away and if you can get away I will let you live" I shook my head "I want to die, I have no reason for being without my family" He picked me up and threw me across the room. I gasped as my head hit an edge on the cobble stone wall, I dropped to the ground the blood pouring out of my ripped head, and I lay in a puddle of blood. The last thing I saw was Godric's hungry blue grey eyes as he strolled forward to kill me.

I was right death was beautiful, it was a meadow full of the brightest flowers, I was wearing the dress I died in, only it seemed brighter, I was twirling around the endless meadow, staring at the bright sun, the heat pressed against my skin like a lover's embrace "Laina" My mother's voice called to me "Mother" I laughed and turned and began to run toward her. But the sky began to darken, the sun turned to moon. I pushed faster and nearly ran into my mother's arms "Momma, what is happening mother, is this hell" Mother shook her head "No Alaina this is Heaven, you must make a choice, the vampires are changing you, you are too far gone for their magic to work if you are unwilling, if you are willing you may leave Heaven and join them in the darkness" I swallowed "I don't want to live in darkness momma, the sun, the way it pulses against my skin, I will miss it so dearly, I will miss you, and Vasalissa and father, how can I live forever among a kind so truly evil, so truly alone" My mother touched my face "Alaina you are never alone, my heart is always with you, choose to live or choose to die but choose soon Laina, because the end of your human life is nearing regardless."

I stared off in the distance, the sun was creeping back up promising a land of warmth and family and love, but the darkness still rained on me, promising forever with only the memories. I looked into my mother's eyes and wrapped myself in her warm arms. "Mother do you promise to be with me forever" She smiled "I am always with you Alaina, in my chamber there is a locked cabinet, the key is under my pillow, take what is in that cabinet and keep it with you always" I smiled "I love you momma" she was floating away towards the sun "As I love you my sweet Laina" her voice arrived after she disappeared as did the sun, the meadow was dark and the stars shined like her twinkling eyes. I lie down on the bed of flowers and let a few tears fall as I stared into the starry sky. "Dig me a hole Eric, it will work" I heard voices coming from the sky "Are you sure she will survive it, the head wound was very deep" The voices got closer "I am not sure, the choice is hers now, I have no doubt she hears us now" I swallowed and closed my eyes, the smell of flowers relaxed me, "Do you love her" Eric asked Godric, I opened my eyes "Not yet." And their voices disappeared, I smiled to myself.

I took a deep breath and stared at the moon "I choose…life after death, nor Heaven nor Hell, I choose to be an immortal" The moon shone brighter and I heard my sister's laugh in the distance, the playful yelps of my puppy, the snoring of my drunken father, and I felt the love of my mother, always with me I reminded myself. I pushed the sounds away and focused on choosing to live forever. The ground beneath me started to quaver, and it spread apart underneath me, and I slowly fell into the moist Earth. The dirt started to cover me and I fought my need to breathe, but realized I did not need it. So I closed my eyes and drift away, the last thing I heard was my mother singing me to sleep. "Hush a bye baby, on the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock; when the bow breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all."

I woke up with a start, I remembering being buried in the wet Earth, my mother singing me a lullaby her mother sang to her, and the smell of flowers and moist dirt surrounding me, was I in still Heaven, still in my mind, or was I in the real world. I clawed against the dirt and pushed myself up, when my head broke the surface I smiled sadly, I was not in the meadow I was in my back yard. I climbed out of my grave and took a deep breath, though I did not need it, I immediately felt regret, I sank to my knees and started clawing out patches of dirt and grass. Tears pouring down my face, I had the chance to spend forever with my family in that meadow, with the sun beating down on my skin, but I chose to be a monster. I screamed at the top of my lungs and flashed up to a tree and ripped it from the earth throwing it across my father's property. I sighed and stared into the starry sky, and willed myself to float up to heaven.

When nothing happened I clawed at my arms at my legs and my stomach, I sliced my skin open in several places but it healed instantly. My eyes found Godric, I snarled "I chose to die, you couldn't kill me you just couldn't let me die" I lunged for him, but he grabbed me and slammed me into the ground. "You chose this" I shook my head "No, no, no, I didn't I was in heaven, I was in heaven and it was beautiful, and you stole it away, just like you stole my family, I'll never go to heaven now, I'll never see my family, I…I hate you, you should kill me now, because I promise you if I ever get the chance I will kill you, and your stupid whatever he is, it's all your fault, I'll avenge my family I swear it" He snarled "Do not threaten me child" I swallowed "I hate you" he grabbed a fist full of my hair and forced me to look into his eyes "Say it again" I sneered "I hate you" he ripped my clothes from my body and entered me in one lithe movement.

I clawed at him, succeeding in slicing open his skin; he grabbed my hands and slammed them into the ground. I cried and laid my head on the ground, tears streaming down my face. Once he felt me give up, he pulled out of me and walked back inside my house, I laid in a ball, the tears falling like a bloody waterfall. I stared at sky when something caught my eye a broke branch lay on the grassy ground beside me, I had heard stories that the demon men were killed by a piece of wood through their heart. I picked up the branch and raised it over myself, and with demon strength I plunged the stake into my heart. I gasped because just as the stake pierced my skin, Godric was holding the stake pulling it back out. I jumped on him, we fell to the ground, I grabbed the stake and raised it over him, he chuckled and I had a flash of intuition that he had let me push him on the ground. He knew I couldn't kill him, but he had to be sure.

I stared into his eyes "Your care about your other thing, why don't you care about me" tears rolled down my face, Godric sat up slightly and brushed my hair behind my ears "I never said I didn't care about you" I dropped the stake and stood up walking back into my house, I walked upstairs, and busted into my mother's room, grabbing the key from under her pillow and rushing over to her locked cabinet. I unlocked it slowly and pulled the door open. I smiled; it was her mother's family crest ring, it was pure gold and had the Rushbrook crest in the center. I put it on my ring finger and walked into the bathroom, soaking in the tuba and cleaning myself with my mother's soaps, so I would smell like her. I wrapped a towel around me and walked into my chamber room.

I got dressed in a light blue corset dress, I tied it in the back and smoothed the princess cut dress, as it fluffed down to the floor. I pulled on high heeled sandals, and felt no need for makeup so I simply brushed my hair and sighed, I stared in the mirror and grabbed my bag, putting dresses and under things and high heeled sandals in the bag, I tossed my brush in and makeup, I was not cold so I didn't bother with my furs. I vamped down stairs, and stared at my mother's body, forcing myself to not cry though I wanted to so bad. "A vampire is never at mercy with his emotions, he dominates them" I glanced at Godric and gave a curt nod "I will be on my way now, thank you very much, it has been nice knowing you" I started to walk away but Godric grabbed my arm pulling me back slowly "Where do you think you're going" I rolled my eyes "I get the basics, no sunlight, no wood, why do I need you" He sighed and rubbed his forehead "I am your maker, you are my responsibility" I smirked "Just as you were to your slave master" he dropped his arm "I am nothing like my maker" I raised an eyebrow "You are treating me like a slave, so I shall treat you like a slave master."

Godric stared at me with a hurt expression and one of realization. I started to turn around, but he grabbed me "You are not my slave, you have free will, when I made you I gave you that, but it would be beneficial to your existence if you let me teach you more than the basics, you will not live long without a maker." I nodded and licked my lips. "I don't plan on living long regardless, Godric, a tip from a former human, survival is not everything, sometimes love means more, but you wouldn't know, because you can't love" Godric grabbed my face "I can love, I do love, I love Eric and you" I cocked my head and he pulled me to him, kissing me softly, I sighed and pulled away. "I would appreciate it if you left my home please, I must clean up the damage you caused" Godric sighed and motioned for the buffoon to leave. "Don't make me leave Laina; if you make me leave, you will live a very lonely and short lived existence" I slammed the kitchen table in half "LEAVE" he was gone.

I was outside burying my mother and father's body when I heard rustling in the trees, I shook my head "Godric I said" But four large dogs came out of the tree line. My fangs slid down and I bent down in a crouch, I snarled and backed up, they charged me, and I yelped as fangs cut through my body like butter, "GODRIC" I screamed, he hadn't been gone but ten minutes, he could hear me right, would he help me, if he heard. I needed him, I was wrong, I tried to hit the wolves, they morphed into men, I gasped, "She's a young one, not even one night old, her blood will be very sweet" I stared and tried to move my legs but they had them pinned down. "Godric" I whispered and saw a blade, he didn't cut me he pressed it against my skin and I shrieked, it was silver, it felt like it had been soaked and re soaked in acid. I thrashed and stopped when I felt Godric nearing. I whimpered and they dipped the knife into my skin, before one knelt down and pressed his mouth on the wound, drinking deeply. "What are you going to do with her boss" The man shrugged "She's mine now; you boys can have her after I'm done with her" he was too fast for me to see, but one second the man was standing and the next his head lay beside his body, Godric ripped the second man in half, the two men changed into wolves and jumped on Godric, Eric came into view and grabbed one ripping it's head off, Godric shoved his hand through the last one's chest and pulled his heart out. I gagged and tried to sit up, but he had drunken to much blood from my wound. Godric knelt down beside me and bit into his wrist putting his wounded wrist against my lips; I drank the blood greedily and closed my eyes. When he pulled his wrist away I opened my eyes and put my arms around him "What were they" Godric rubbed my back "There were werewolves, this is why you must stay with us, if I had been even a minute farther away from you, you would have been dead. I realized something "I don't want to die" He sighed with relief and picked me up, "Where are we going" Godric grinned "Paris."


End file.
